There’s been a mild uprising among some hardcore greenies who say that sensational topics such as this one are impeding the progress of environmentalism; that they’re just a way of sexing up sustainability to sell more crap. And even though they’re annoying, they’re also kind of right – inevitably, the bottom-line answer to going green in any room of the house is to buy less crap. But because the recycle/reuse method is not recommended with Trojans, and because the crap you’re using may be giving you cancer – surprise, there are many a carcinogenic dildo out there – this is one eco-trend to get behind, pun fully intended.
Step one: If you can avoid making babies, especially American ones, who pollute more than most other nations’ babies, that’s a great start.
Stork repellant is often as simple as putting a reservoir tip to good use, but anyone who’s had the misfortune of spotting a derelict condom on the sand should realize the pesky problem with these landfill-cramming puppies. While silicone and latex are recyclable, neither decomposes, and research has not yielded any community waste collection systems that covertly accept used rubbers. Skip the lambskin – no raging case of Chlamydia ever helped the planet. Our best bet is to minimize the impact: Buy in bulk, do not flush the evidence, and consider going vegan with Glyde condoms or Legends – bizarrely, yet somehow appropriately, most latex has a dairy derivative in it.
That last Bill Nye-ish tidbit is courtesy of Krys Fox, an enormously helpful sex educator at The Pleasure Chest, where eco-conscious kink is now thriving. The WeHo store stocks six different kinds of organic lubricants by Good Clean Love, as well as those cow-sparing condoms and rechargeable playthings. Fox insists that little is known about the makeup of toys used where the sun don’t shine, and that should definitely freak you out: “The shocking thing is that there are stricter regulations for animal chew toys than for adult sex toys,” he says. Sex toy waste is basically a biohazard; the toxic, PVC-softening phthalates (that’s the possibly cancerous part) that make your Goodboi all squishy and lifelike are suspected to seep out when exposed to warmth, moisture, and the other effluvia from what Dear Abby once called “heavy petting.” Ecosexuals advocate recyclable glass goodies, whose production is nontoxic and harmless. Don’t-sue-me advice for idiots: Using your glass dildo after you’ve recently chipped it may considerably lessen your pleasure, unless you’re into that.