How to make your own sex tape

From Patrick Strait at the City Pages blog The Wet Spot comes an amusing take on sex tapes, arguing that they’re not just for celebrities:

1. Find a partner who you think will be fun to watch on tape later. Let’s be honest – the best part of making a sex tape is watching it later (and by “later” I mean several years later after your girlfriend breaks up with you, gets married and Facebook messages you to make sure you destroyed the tape, which you assure her you did. Suck on that, Lindsey).

Sometimes you can tell that someone is going to be awesome on camera, and other times you need to give them a test run. As a word of advice, anyone that brags about their sexual prowess is going to absolutely suck on tape, while people (male or female) who still wear Scrunchies in their hair are going to be a sexual masters (Dog the Bounty Hunter, I’m looking in your direction).

2. Never let them know that you are filming them during sex.
This point is debatable, as some people consider this to be a “crime.” I, on the other hand, call this observing two people expressing their love for each other in their most natural habitat.

Face it; if someone knows they’re being taped, they’re going to be way more reserved and less likely to say something awesome like, “if you’re videotaping this I swear I’ll fucking kill you, Patrick.” Now that’s sex tape gold.

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