Posts Tagged ‘sex-positive’

Carnal Nation launches and Carol Queen on sex positivity

February 20, 2009

Carnal Nation launched yesterday – check it out. Chris Hall from Sex in the Public Square is part of it and they have many interesting pieces up and I believe are going to have a nationwide calendar of sex-related events.

This is from Carol Queen’s piece, “Elements of Sex-Positivity:”

So the notion of “sex-positivity” gave me the perspective I deeply needed to see that there really was not just one (or a few) “normal” way(s) to be a sexual person; that our culture’s push to get us to identify one way or another (and then stay that way) is really a manifestation of sex-negativity–not to mention usually homophobia, because when you’re all but forced into a binary way of identifying, one side is usually the privileged one, the other side the realm of deviance. (In fact, I had gotten very good grades in my undergrad Sociology of Deviance class, which basically covered most of the things I already did or wanted to do: Homosexuality, check! Smoking pot, check! Prostitution… hadn’t done that, but hmm, how much does it pay?)

So let me tell you what I think sex-positivity is now, lest I’ve given you the impression you have to start turning tricks to do it right. You don’t have to be bisexual (or trisexual), kinky, non-monogamous, or even sexually active. In fact, some of the most interesting discussions about sex-positivity I’ve had this year have been with a guy who’s busy organizing asexuals into a community of support and affiliation. Yep, you can even be sex-positive if you don’t ever want to have sex, just as you can be very sex-negative indeed and still have plenty of hot sex that you enjoy to the fullest.

“My first orgy: A beginner’s guide to group sex”

February 9, 2009

First of all, I’m loving the blog Sex SF, the San Francisco Bay Guardian‘s “local sex-positive blog.” Every city should have one!

Rita Sapunor just wrote “My first orgy: A beginner’s guide to group sex” which starts with the line “” and goes on to give advice. Back in 2001 when I spent a lot of time in San Francisco, I went to some sex parties that were unlike anything I had experienced in New York. It’s definitely the city for it. Here’s some of her advice, read the piece for the rest:

IT’S YOUR PARTY AND YOU’LL COME IF YOU WANT TO

“If you wanna get laid, don’t host a party,” affirms panelist Cyrus No Last-Name. Like any fete, play parties require their share of organization. You’re not just creating a social atmosphere, but an erotic one, and the sky (and your floor plan) is the limit. Start by deciding on what kind of party you want. Tantric ritual or sub-dom play? Same sex or mixed gender? Full sex or just cuddling? Maybe you want the whole thing set in space, or maybe you’ll make your whole place look like some sort of pornographic Applebee’s. (Talk about eatin’ good in the neighborhood). Anything goes, provided you can get your guests to come (and cum?). Then, create a set of ground rules. Ground rules will allow you to control the tone of the party and keep your guests on the same page. Popular ground rules include a clothes check at the door, or arriving with a friend or partner for whom you are accountable. Strict policies to ensure safe sex are obviously worthwhile, though most panelists trust their guests enough not to necessitate monitors.

The Sex SF blog also recently ran “Ask a Porn Star” by Justin Juul in which Lorelei Lee answers questions from regular folks:

David C: Do female porn stars have fluffers?

Lee: No…and neither do male porn stars. There is no such thing as a fluffer, and I’d be willing to bet there never has been such a thing. We self-fluff.